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Fact is that there is no truly right decision to any of these things. And quite frankly what we feel is right for for AJ may not be the same as what someone else would choose under the exact same circumstances, and the outcome could be different from one moment to the next.
We wouldn’t accept an argument like that to normalize other slurs. Racial slurs, ethnic slurs, slurs about someone’s sexual orientation or their religion… it doesn’t matter where or how you learned it, but it does matter that it’s insulting to the people that it impacts.
Maybe it sounds harsh, but those meds and cares are what keep him alive. If it ruins someone else’s meal to hear a suction machine then oh well. That person will live just fine without finishing their loaded mashed potatoes. AJ, on the other hand, might not live without his cares.